So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
