I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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