She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
