Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
