Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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