Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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