Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently you make a good broom.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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