I smell stomach acid.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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