This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
