but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
