you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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