is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Randomize
