You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
