T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
