i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
