i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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