I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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