I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
