At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
