turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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