Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize