Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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