What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
