Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
