i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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