you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
