Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
