Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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