the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
