Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
