Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize