Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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