Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
