Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Randomize
