So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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