May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize