I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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