I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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