My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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