sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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