Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
