You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize