I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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