i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
