I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just blew my weed a kiss
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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