You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
