Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize