Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
