Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
