A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Someone signed my nipple.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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