The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
