Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
