dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
