So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
