He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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