yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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