i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
