my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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