I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
