Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
whose ass print is on the piano?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
